First, there was K1

The year was 2000.

I was pleased to find out that I was expecting a boy.

Since I was young, I have heard stories from my mother, about how she was expected to produce an heir for the Family. Therefore, she had to endure 3 caesarian operation and she was finally blessed with a son the third time around. I was her second daughter, I wonder if I was a disappointment?

So I was pleased to know that I was expecting a boy as my first child. That would mean that I will not be under pressure to produce heir.

Please don't misunderstand. Nobody gave me any pressure. Not my parents, nor my parents-in-grace. Nor my husband.

But I did have acquaintances and friends, who found out that I was expecting a boy, and they went "this is so great, your mother-in-law must be very happy". I bet she was, but I don't think she was overly concerned over whether it would be a boy or a girl.

I was diagnosed with pregnancy induced high blood pressure when I was pregnant with K1. This meant that there is a higher possibility of pre-emclampsia, a condition in which the baby could suddenly detach itself from the womb and dies. The EDD was 5 Aug 2000. Dr Seng Kwang Meng (sadly passed away early last year) instructed us to be admitted to Gleneagle hospital on 27 July 2000 at 5pm. Nobody wanted to take any risks.

K did not return home from work that night until past 7pm. He was not concerned since I was not yet in labour. We even took our dinner at ANA hotel (now demolished) before going to the hospital, since I thought that there will be lots of food I may not be able to take after giving birth.

At the hospital, the nurses strapped 2 straps around my tummy. One was to monitor the baby's movement. The other was to monitor the baby's heartbeat. After she had found the right position on my tummy to place the sensors, she asked me not to move as the monitoring needs to be done for 30 minutes. I dared not move. She returned shortly and found that the baby had moved and she had to reposition the sensors again. This process repeated itself a few times until I was really tired. She commented that we have a very active baby, which we know now is not true.

She also inserted some medicine to induce birth and told me to go to sleep. I remember feeling bad that K had to sleep uncomfortably on the narrow sofa bed. I made space and we both slept on the bed, before long, he was snoring away.

We were awoken at 6 am to be prepared for delivery. I was taken to the delivery suite and given an epidural. Shortly after, I lost sensation of my lower body. K and I watched TV while waiting for something to happen. At this time, I saw my mother-in-grace coming into the deliver suite to see how we were doing. She was quickly asked to leave by the nurse as only Spouse is allowed. As the nurses had told me that it may be another 8-10 hours before delivery, I asked K to drive my mother-in-grace home. And it was at this time when K left that Dr Seng came to check on me. He said that it has been too long and I was not dilated at all. In the interest of the baby, he suggested that I should have a caesarian - this was found to be a good decision as K1 was found to have the ambilical cord around his neck. I tried to contact K but to no avail as his mobile phone was on silent mode and he did not know I was trying to reach him. I had to sign an indemnity form by myself before being wheeled into the operating room.

I remember being very afraid. I was afraid that I will not wake up to see my baby.

The anaethesian told me to breath normally and count to 3 while he held something over my nose. I pushed him away 2 times saying that I was cold and they brought me blankets. I asked him what will happen if I don't wake up. He assured me that he will watch me closely and make sure that does not happen. Finally at the third time, I counted ....one...t....and I was out.

Someone was shaking me quite hard, 'Mdm C, Mdm C, your husband is here to see you.'. K had requested to see me while I was still in the recovery room at the operating theatre. He had seen K1 being taken out of the delivery suite to be cleaned at the Nursery. He told me that when he first saw K1 - he was moved to tears. I vaguely recall seeing K and then I dosed off again.

The next time I woke up, I was back in my room and I saw my mother. My throat was dry and it hurts. It was because they had inserted a tube through my throat to help me breath while I was under GA. When I tried to cough, my caesarian wound hurts. I could not sit up. Immediatly, I asked to see my baby. When they brought him to me, K1 was the most perfect and beautiful baby I had ever seen. But it felt strange at first, as if the baby was not mine. It was one day later when it started to dawn on me that I am now a mother, and this baby is my child. As I held him close and nurse him, I felt that I was complete as a woman.