Our first family crisis

We had never had to work together as a family the way we did last Sunday.

We decided to check out the brand new shopping mall, the ION at Orchard Road. While we were window shopping, Khloe was a bit cranky. Thinking that she may be hungry, I made milk for her and fed her sitting on a bench in the atrium, while Kenneth brought Karl to the toilet. While feeding her, she suddenly sat up and throw up all over me!

I was caught in shock and embarrassment as this has never happened to me before. I had to bear with the stare of curious on-lookers, try to pacific a wailing baby, and both of us covered in puke. Keith quickly gave Kenneth a call and Dad came running to help with lots of tissue paper.

For some strange reason, the toilets are located 2 floors up from the ground floor. Thank God for the wonderful toilet facilities at the ION. We went into a 'family' toilet meant for little kids. There, we cleaned up Khloe and as this was meant to be a short trip, we didn't bring any spare clothes for her. Luckily, we had brought along a little sweater for her, so she was fine in her diapers and sweater.

It was a bit harder to clean me up. I was at my wits end and did not know what to do. I thought of asking Kenneth to buy some clothes for me, only if we were not in such an upmarket mall where only the top brands are here. Suddenly, an idea struck!

I asked Keith to give me his clothes, which he obediently gave. And I asked Karl to give his clothes to Keith, which he obediently gave too. Now we are left with an almost naked Karl. We packed him into the pram and pulled won the cover so he cannot be seen from outside.

Bless these little boys for being so helpful. I was really pleased that we all work together as a family to resolve this little crisis. We quickly got everyone packed into our car and got home as soon as we can.

Singlish has no place at work

I am working on a mega project with many other races and nationalities. At the management level, the committee which I sit in consists of French, British, American and German. I am the only Singaporean in the committee.

It is a very bizarre thing for me, to work in my own country but face racial discrimination. Both from others, and also my own country men.

Another Singaporean working on the same project says it is colonial mindset.

I don't know what it is.

But whenever there is a difference of opinion, it seems the whiter your skin, the more value there is, and the more people are willing to listen. Perhaps I am too sensitive, perhaps Singaporeans are just not very good at expressing ourselves, explaining our points clearly and concisely, hence no one has the patience to figure out what we are actually saying.

And Singaporeans are very quick to dismiss Singaporeans, preferring instead to listen to what the "foreign talents" have to say, there is just so much to learn from them.

It is very important for us Singaporeans to be able to speak English that is internationally understood. Singlish has no place at work.

At the end of the workday, I really enjoy just staying at home with my children. At least, I know that I am loved unconditionally, 'regardless of race, language or religion'.

When the children were little....

When Keith was little, he was the most wonderful and cute baby we had ever seen. We showed a baby picture of Kenneth to Kelvin, and told him that was Keith. He believed us! That shows the resemblance of father and son. Being a first time mom trying her darnest to nurse her child, it took almost 2.5 years to wean Keith off.

When Karl was little, he was the most wonderful and cute baby we had every seen. Some said he looked like Grandma. Now an experienced mom, Mom managed enough milk to nurse Karl only on her milk for more than a year. Karl weaned himself off.

Now that Khloe is little, she is the most wonderful and cute baby we had ever seen. She looks like mommy, no doubt about that. She sleeps through the night when she was barely 6 months. She still looks for mom to nurse her before she sleeps, mom wants to wean her off soon.

We are so blessed. God blessed us with 3 very wonderful children.

Nuisance

The workers were working outside our gate the last few days.

One day, they buzzed the door bell and told all of us to move our cars outside because they were about to dig a trench outside of our gate and we would not be able to move our car if we do not take them out soon.

There were 3 cars we needed to move. Kenneth's car, my car and Papa's car.

It was such a nuisance having to walk outside of the gate to the car. Also, there was a excavator and so much work going on, I was afraid that they may unknowingly scratch my car.

About 3 days later, we were allowed to park in our house again. However, the big excavator was still there. And the rubble that they had dug up were blocking a third of the width of the gate. In backing my car out of the driveway, I was afraid that there may be a nail somewhere that may puncture my car.

I was thinking what a nuisance these workers were.

Until one day, while I was backing my car out of the driveway, and Keith was in my car with me. I was reversing my car very carefully and slowly.

Although I had not discussed my sentiments about these inconveniences with Keith, he commented, what are nuisance these works and these workers are.

At that moment, I explained to Keith about the works that the workers were doing, and that they are working in the hot sun, so their work must be hard. I also explained to Keith about how putting up with a little inconveniences for a few days means that we will have a better environment when the works are completed. In fact, I suggested to Keith that we should offer the workers some cold drinks to help them out in the heat.

After saying all these, I caught myself by surprise.

Was that the Holy Spirit? Was that God speaking through me?

I had never thought such thoughts before, and I can feel God's love for them bagladeshi / chinese workers.

The love of God just overwhelmed me!

Was I too sensitive?

At K2's Parent-Teacher day just before the June School Holidays, I noticed a little drawing done by him with some words below.

It said (in Chinese) : ......... "my mom loves my brother, I love my mom"

I was astounded!

I asked him, why didn't he write "my mom loves me, I love my mom"? Did he think that I did not love him? Have I neglected him? Am I a bad mother? Does he not know that I love him very much?

I could not sleep that night! I kept thinking about it the day after.

I have to think about what had gone wrong. How I can convey to K2 that I love him very very much. The only way would be to spend more time with him. But how? With very limited time that I have at home after work, I have to split my time between coaching K1 his school work, looking after Baby K3 - so where do I find the time to play Bakukan with K2? But I will have to work it out.

After asking him for a few days, he finally told me, he said he copied it from what the teacher wrote on the whiteboard.

Really?

Was I too sensitive?

What would be my ideal car?

Now that the decision on 'to buy' or 'not to buy' was over, K and I set out to look for that ideal car for me.

The next decision we had to make was how much to spend on this second car - not forgetting that it is a 'want', not a 'need'. This decision is also somewhat linked to whether we should buy a used car or a new car? What car to buy and what colour?

Decisions! Decisions! Decisions!

We started out our car shopping at the CarMart at Eunos. We started looking at pre-owned cars but weren't sure what we were looking for.

Since K already had a sedan, I thought it might be useful to buy a MPV which can fit our whole family (including Grandparents) during the weekends (not that we go out together a lot), and give the children more space. With 3 kids (including a baby chair) and maid it tow, I felt we needed more space. Honda Stream (my cousin Teck has one and he swears by it!) seems to be a good option as it is a smallish MPV - easier for me to handle.

K was not really supportive of MPVs because I may be the only one driving an empty big car most of the time. He was more tuned towards a 2-seater car, like the Daihatsu Copen (600cc convertible hard top!) or the RX8 (1.3l, Rotary Engine).

We came across a May 08 RX8 with a low mileage of 11,000km at www.sgcarmart.com. We went to see it and I fell instantly in love with it. It had everything I wanted - good looks (cool red leather seats, dark silver colour body), low running costs (very low road tax since it is only a 1.3l car), well maintained (it looks brand new!) and best of all it seats 4 and although it looks like a 2-door car, it actually has 4 doors. The agent wanted S$78,880 for it. I wasn't sure if it was the car for me. I said I will think about it.

That evening, my 'ideal car' was sold.

The next day, we met with our friend Barry who knows a lot about cars. He once changed 18 cars in a year! He told me that he had many friends who sold their RX8 because the central pillar in the car gets very hot due to the Rotary Engine. The other complain was the high fuel consumption even for a low capacity car. Since I think Barry knows best, I stopped thinking about buying the RX8.

However, K was not convinced by Barry. He continue to look at the RX8 in the sgcarmar and urged me to call my JC friend who owns a RX8.

I am thankful that God blesses me with so many great friends. Not only did my JC friend drove his car to my office and took me out for lunch, he even let me test drive his car along the ECP. He had been driving the car for close to 2 years now and only has good things to say about it.

After that ride, I wavered.

That evening, I learned from the car agent that the man who 'bought' the RX8 could not get his loan approved. So we took a look at it again and I totally love it. Again this time, I said that I am very keen but I did not have my cheque book with me. I told the agent that I was keen to get the car. We settled on S$77k.

I was so happy.

But yet unsure.

Is the ergonomics of the car suitable for me? As you know, I am a little petite and I did sense some trouble reaching the accelerator even when I pushed my seat all the way to the front.

The next day, the car agent called to say that the man had asked for more time. And this time, he will try to get a loan from his company.

WHAT? Is this man desperate or what?

God, if this car is for me, please make sure that his loan with the company will not be approved.

Please God. I want that car. I am sure now God, I will not waver again.

I waited anxiously and patiently for the whole day. I looked at the picture in sgcarmart, and showed it to my colleague in the office. I imagine myself driving that car. Looks pretty cool, I thought.

And I did not hear from the car agent. K said I should call. I did not want to sound desperate. But I wanted to know :-( So I called.

Alas! The RX8 was not meant to be.

I was heartbroken.

I texted my brother and a few friends who knew.

I said that God does not want me to have this car. He must have something better in store for me!! And I said 'Amen' to that!

I cannot wait to see what it might be!

Iky!

No, 'lky' is not our Minister Mentor.

It spells 'i-k-y'!

As I was growing up, my mom used to educate us about the invisible germs.

When we come home from the outside, she forbade us from sitting on the sofa. Why mom? She said that when we take the bus, we bring back germs from the bus home. And if we sit on the sofa, those germs are then transferred to our sofa, which is a 'clean' zone where we relax after we bath.

I was flabbergasted!

Worried about germs we cannot see? Come on Mom, don't be such a wussy!

.........fast forward to year 2009......I am now a mother of 3 .............

I don't allow my children (or my husband for that matter) to go onto my bed if they don't change out of their clothes in which they go out with. Geez! Who knows? There could be germs from K2 sitting on the floor in the kindergarten, and that floor he sat on could have germs from the toilets brought about by shoes of the teachers who had just gone to pee.....and so it goes.

I am also iky about toilet flushes and toilet locks. I will not touch the public toilet locks and flushes. If I can, I will use a toilet paper as a 'shield' or 'protection' when I flush or lock the toilet door. I mean - these are the 2 most contaminated places in the toilet. Imagine someone just finish peeing (or doing other stuff) and then before washing their hands, they will need to flush and open the door to get out. Can you imagine the number of germs in these 2 places?

I have also witnessed girls who don't wash their hands after they go to the toilet. Have their mom taught them nothing?

Just the other day, K1 proudly told me about something that he had just learnt from "horrible science" book that he's been reading. He said 'mom, do you know that when you flush the toilet, there are microscopic bits of poo and pee in the air? But don't worry, the book said that it will not do us any harm.'.

Thanks a lot, K1 - now I have something else to worry about, I will need to close the toilet seat cover before I flush, else there will be microscopic bits of pee on myself. But what if the gal in the next cubicle flushes? Will microscopic bits of her be floating towards me? Do I stop breathing?

What is happening to me?

I am growing into my mom!!

What a scary thought!!!!